Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
