It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
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It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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