is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
