Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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