i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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