I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
