i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No subtext here. People are naked.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
