I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
