Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
