STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
