I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
