Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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