We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
