the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize