Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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