sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
