That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
