How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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