stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
