he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
