Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
