I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
