I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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