Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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