I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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