mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
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