Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
