Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
