I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize