We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
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I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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