i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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