dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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