Your tits are I can't wait for
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Houston, we have a squirter
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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