Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
