eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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