before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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