I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
