Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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