New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
