the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
