yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
