i just had sex bonerless
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Someone shattered a urinal.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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