ya dads aren't the best wingmen
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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