If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
