Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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