Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
