hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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