we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
