At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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