But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
