How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
