I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
