so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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