At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
