is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
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