We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
