I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My dick has a subreddit
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
