idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
